Melanie Writes

Anxiety. It’s a word we’ve all heard from friends or family. And sometimes it’s a word we’ve felt so deep into our core that reading the word alone causes our stomachs to drop. It causes sleepless nights, it makes you overthink meaningless moments, it can even make you question existence. And every time you feel that rush of adrenaline telling you to become anxious yet again, you hate yourself for not being strong enough. You think you’re the only person who feels this strongly, you think you are the only person who gets this sad, or feels the literal pain of your chest tightening because your mind convinced your body of this too. You think you’re never going to feel the same again, that your mind is not yours anymore. You think you’ll overthink every thing in your life until you have nothing left in your life to over think. You replay every situation that didn’t end perfectly over and over again in your mind, trying to pinpoint the exact second that you ruined a good moment, or an exact second that you chose to say the wrong word, or step the wrong direction, or smile at the wrong person. You try to fix things that are broken because you think it’s the only way to fix yourself. And sometimes, you wonder if its worth fixing yourself at all, because would anybody even notice? Would anybody care? Is it just you against the world? You are not alone.